Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
19 -Missing
Part 20

John the Penn seeks Wisdom

Part III

(I cannot guarantee that this missive is chronologically, geographically, historically, politically or grammatically correct. Stories have been handed down from antiquity and some of them help to show some aspects of how certain idioms of the USMC came about, such as how master sergeants came to be called "top". So, I will just take liberties as needed.)

In those days there was a wiseman of some renown who abided in the beautiful NiHigh Valley (which lay just east of the aforementioned wilderness). He was a scribe and teacher of the highly regarded Purple Order. Multitudes traveled from afar to sit at his boondocker shod feet. And wisdom fell about them. This wise one was called J.Marco Craniaous. Well, J.Marco Craniaous was to sire a whole line of descendants all the way down to our times. One of those descendants was Marco Polo (notice how the name followed thru the centuries?. It is not widely known that Marco, when making his first attempt to find China actually went East instead of West and landed in the British Isles. He made the best of this mistake by spending some time there.It is said that he charmed the Celt lasses and left the Irish and Scottish hillsides scattered with little people with the wildness of the Celts and the hot blood of the Italians. So what you have is wild people who like to roam. So, the name Marco became known in the Isles and that produced many shortened versions such as Mac, Mc, etc. Many of their descendant's desire to travel eventually moved to America, especially when they forgot to harvest the potato crop which rotted in the fields. Their descendants here are many.

Meanwhile, still in the wilderness, John, the Pennsylvanian, had regained his senses and was revolted by the carnage strewn about him. He looked upon his broken clay pots and exclaimed, "Dang! I have got to find a more pliable material". But first he had to seek counsel on how to retrieve his maiden/companion and get revenge on the big broad who attacked him. Thus he began yet another journey, taking only his robe of OD cloth, his staff (whch was a crooked stick, not a bevy of assistants to grovel, which would come in time when he made gunny, years later) and a secret weapon. He was seeking his mentor with whom he served during the Troubles some years back. This friend was none other than the highly sought after J. Marco!

He found J. Marco Craniaous setting in the doorway of his upscale abode with large dimensions for that time that measured 12 cubics by 12 cubics, with ceilings 3 ax handles high! This structure was surrounded by a moat that was filled with giant man eating catfish. J. Marco had a gaggle of small Cher'ren at his feet, pouring forth knowledge into their empty little skulls. Upon seeing his old friend, John, approaching he said unto the multitude, "Okay, that's it for today, be off with both of you!"

John smiled benevolently at the cher'ren as they departed and wondered aloud about the funny blue stains around their lips and chin. The stains were actually from the strange new grape colored drink discovered in the NiHigh Valley. J. Marco despensed this concoction to keep them quiet.

John stepped over the moat and after the crowd had left said, "I must take up arms against womenkind. I do not wish to make combat with them, even one that hath MAC TRUCK across her forehead, so how do I win without hitting back? What be thy advice, Bro J. Marco?" J. Marco pondered (grinning with it's simplicity), "I have it, John! When she prepareth to strike thee...ducketh thy head!!"

Now, John the Penn thought, "I walked all the way up here to the NiHigh Valley for THAT?" Then he said to his friend, " I must be off now! This you can count on, when I catch up to her. BAM! BAM! BAM! Now I must search for my lost maiden and the foul wretch that taketh her from me, for I be lonely for female companionship."

"Well, go my bro and search, but remember there are other maidens. Also, on they way out do not cast thine eyes upon my SHEEP!"

(In the meantime II, Topicus and Bufficus had cut across the big land of O where unbeknownst to them a certain creature, that consorted with ducks and was known to sometimes talk to ducks, had spotted them from the air and was at that very moment transmitting intel about them. Not being as wary as they shpould have they made their way on down through the land of the bluegrass and headed for the Corvette Museum in Bowling Green.)

Royal P.I.T.A.

e-mail Jim
created: Aug 8, 2003
Modified August 20, 2003