Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
19 -Missing
Part 20

The Great Mama's Gathering

Part XX

And it came to pass that a great cry (a ‘great cry’ is to beckon, a ‘great hue and cry’ is to bitch) went out across the magnificent land to gather warriors of the many tribes. Once again they trod the trails and crossed the rivers to the village cradled in the great Moccasin Bend at the foot the mighty mountain Lookout. Warriors from different lands filtered through the mountains and ridges. Those making the journey had beginnings and a commonality that they barely understood. They came from far and near. From the East and the West, from the North and the South. Again gathered for council at the abode of The Great Mama.

How The Rains Came

Many suffered great trials and tribulations in their journey. Mac O’Mighty had gathered several members of his clan and was making his way down through the Far Blue Mountains. And they were hauling ass....no really, their conveyance was a one horse-powered donkey cart, the donkey having become lame so they had the donkey in the cart. On the downhill side they were careening down a narrow trail that had sheer cliffs down into the river on one side and thick foliage on the other side. If one strayed into the bush on the one hand a mighty black bear could rip gullets from those fool hardy enough to try it. On the other hand, get to close to the edge and it’s ass over elbows into the river and rocks a thousand feet below. Having consumed copious amounts of beer the night before and gallons of coffee and water this morning to relieve the misery Mac O needed to relieve some pressure in a fretful way. Being afraid of bears, exposure and heights from stepladders he went behind the only rock in view. It was clearly marked as being sanctified. But he had to GO! With the function nearly completed thunder roared and lighting flashed as a great voice boomed, “Son!! Thy foulth a sacred place. Thy must touch that sacred stone it with thy staff so it will be made clean. “Well, Mac O had had the crap, scared out of him, what with the thunder and all! So, some stored anger welled up within him and he spewed forth blasphemous words . He the raised his Jawbone of an Ass, not his staff as instructed, staff, and said, “Okay, Dad, you want penance, I will show thee penance” and did smite the stone with all his might. The rest of the clan had a little bit of an “Aw Sh*t!” look on their collective faces. Then the rain and thunder and lighten really flew. The voice said, “Thy journey will be followed by torrential down pours the likes of which thou has never seen! Thy shall have water and mists flying into they face by large conveyances that cause you to lose sight of the trail. The vast beauty of the land all about you will be hidden and thy shall be miserable! The rain will soak the gathering and all of you shall sip thy suds in the rain!” So, he and his tiny group of sojourners trudged mile after dreary mile in the rain and saw not the beauty all about them. So he came out of the fog shrouded mountains AND BROUGHT THE RAIN DOWN ON ALL THE WARRIORS!

The Advanced Party

Meanwhile, at the camping grounds where the last great calling together of the chiefs of the lands Topicus had arrived early, put away the swords and other weaponry and was about to assume command of the festivities that the same Great Mama as before had put together. Instead the Great Mama was in charge THIS TIME too and put Topicus to work in several menial tasks generally reserved for Pvts and PFCs. Such as stocking toilet paper and providing transportation where needed. Topicus was provided a donkey cart but had no ass. So she borrowed a broken down neighborhood goat. (No great problem on initial the trip but the return trip at the end of the party was rather tiring with 17 drunk warriors hanging out all over her cart.) But let’s get back to the night before where a small pre-gathering feast was had. There was a certain peddler and purveyor(?) of memorabilia and artifacts in the village. He had with him a scholar who was his aide and champion of all the warriors. I am still investigating rumors of an attempted seduction of the poor warrior. A seduction by the same fierce, flame maned champion of the distaff side who had already tried to take his legs out from under him in an earlier action. Was there a flame burning other than on the top of her head?

Another early arrival was MikusII from the land of the big muddy. He was quickly made a slave for the duration, doing all manner of chores. At first they had him hidden away in the cellar. Forced to do God knows what! The door was broken on the cellar by the time we had arrived and we are still trying to find out if he broke out or if they broke IN! There were no witnesses except the two women and the one man. His cries for help, or whatever else the cries were for, could be heard only by those few. It is to pity, or it is to envy. We don’t know.

Mess Hall Training and Food Prep

The Great Mama lived in the hills and, as were the nature of those people, ate much pig and chicken. Great Mama had free range chickens in her fenced and walled courtyard. Topicus, now in her subservient role, was assigned to gather and prepare chickens for the feast. Topicus ran about the grounds chasing and cursing leghorns, fryers and pullets. Feathers flew. GM looked out the window and saw a most un-chicken-killing like method being used. Topicus was trying to choke the chickens! GM screamed, “Topicus, wring their necks, you can’t choke a chicken!” Topicus came to a screeching halt! A look of total puzzlement descended all about her. She spake in a bemused and halting voice, for she had great respect for the GM “You can’t choke a chikin, Why, I’ve choked many a chikin! I have reported on choking chikins, well I was just talking about .......... Oh!” Then silence, And GM says, “Topicus...Wring the damned chicken’s necks!”. Topicus contritely began killing and flinging chickens all about the court yard. She would pick up one in each hand and became quite adapt at dual killings. She could make them twirl in the same or opposing direction. Then she would go faster and faster until their little heads popped off. She was delighted with what came to mind next! She became quite happy with some future possibilities. “Lawdy mercy!” she laughed to her self, “ I ain’t never done it this way before... choking no chikin like this! I know just who needs my first demonstration!”

Royal P.I.T.A.

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created: July 2, 2004