Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
19 -Missing
Part 20

Topicus Clips a Winger

Part XIV

There was an ugly scene back at the gathering in the Mile High Village. The departure time was hours ago. Caticus had Topicus by the ankles dragging her clawing and screaming from behind the rock. Fingernails were harrowing the ground. “I teacheth him! I traineth him, but he is not ready to set out alone” cried Topicus. Caticus, rolling her eyes way back into her head said “ My God women he just returnth from the current troubles. There is little thou can add. Maybe a shower in yonder waterfall will extinguish the fires!” (“But not likely!”, Caticus grumbled to herself.)

Saddened, highly irritated and just plain mad, Topicus continued her journey East. Soon they were in a land where all the trees had disappeared . Either from an angry God or through bad environmental practices. In their place were vast fields of brown grass that contained a kind of grain . Many fields had been cut of grain. Old men with scythes were observed cutting these amber waves of grain. The old men wore long white robes, had white hair and beards and had very grim countenance. Therefore they were named the “Grim Reapers”.

There in the middle of this barren land was one small “mountain” a bump in the plains that had an elevation of 67.5 feet. The girls (I can say it if I want to! Girls! See, I did it again!) bivouacked here, for Topicus knew about the high ground and stuff. Far off in the distance, down in the plains, they saw a lone hunter. He was thrashing about amongst many birds, both in large numbers and species. He was shooting arrows wildly into the sky, chunking spears all about, he had slingshots that flung many stones at once at the birds. At last he was done to flailing way with sticks. There were many feathers falling about but no meat. The birds seem to be enjoying a major feast and the entertainment by this wild hunter. He was clothed in tattered Coyote hides from better days, worn a scraggily beard full of feathers and had a wild desperate look about him . He had once been lead hunter for his village but now the birds knew him and all his moves. The demand for his services were slim. The birds grew fat and knew how to stay one foot ahead of the once mighty fowl hunter, the mighty Willicus!The Mighty Hunter, Willicus, was seen throwing grain upon these fallow fields. Said it he was getting an early start on spring planting. Thereby he was making it easy and inviting for poor little unsuspecting birds to alight and peck away unaware of being blasted. But we have established that they were smart birds.

Plump ducks were feeding and laughing among themselves at the antics of the wild man. Not paying attention to the warriorette Caticus who was creeping up behind them with a two by four. CRACK! She took out four ducks with one swipe! Later, she was dressing the ducks to prepare evening chow. Topicus looked on in amazement. Questioning, “What are thou about, now?” Caticus responded “I am plucking a duck!” Topicus, “You are doing what to a duck?!” (I could go on and on with the pluck and duck thing but it will be taken up elsewhere I am sure.)

A crestfallen Willicus watched as duck soup was being prepared. Also, boiled duck, broiled duck, fried duck, roasted duck, fancy obscure duck recipes and donald duck. Well, while his attention was taken with the duck cooking Topicus had approached from the left oblique. The Louisville Slugger was loaded and Unlocked! There was a very slight pang of pity she had for this hungry wretch and hesitated in her bashing. But being a male warrior she was sure he had done something worthy of a good whacking. He looked upon what to him had to be an aberration, with the fierce red eyes along with the flowing red hair and skimpy beaver outfit. With the recognition came bone chilling terror when he realized upon whom he was gazing! “Show some mercy on this old warrior winger!!” Topicus lowered her bat and, furrowed her brow in wonderment (and puzzlement). She spake in a ringing and sarcastic voice, “What manner of warrior is a ‘winger’?” A much relieved Willicus, much relieved since his head was still whole, spoketh , “I was with a group who experimented with flight. We tied crows to our arms and legs. They had the ability to carry us into the air but it was difficult to get them to fly in the same direction. That be the reason that I have bones that are crooked and go in many directions.” Suddenly a shrill voice, “Duck’s ready! Chow down!” While chowing down on duck, Topicus could not bear the mouth watering look on Willicus’ face. So being the generous and kind warrior to men and dogs that she was, she saved the bones for him. She tossed them the down the hillside. Sometimes , for fun, she would toss them equidistance between Willicus and the wild dogs. The contest between man and wild dogs resulted in the coyote hides becoming more tattered. Willicus was relieved when the female warriors broke camp and marched off to the South. South???

Well our fire team coming up from the rear were getting close and would soon reach Mount KC, the 67.5 foot ‘mountain’ in this barren land. Willicus was camped on this high point and was indeed glad to see all the Old Warriors plodding toward him.

In the other meantime, Bigcus Tomicus was still trying to catch up but had come upon this long chasm in the earth before him. He stood pondering the beauty of it and thought to himself, “This is a long and wide land but that is one hell of an expansion joint! It is truly a grand ditch.” Well, Bigcus was further delayed on the edge of that grand ditch because his donkey kicked him in the back and he was laid up for a while.

In the other meantime, Topicus was making good time but now she had a Motley Crew of five plodding after her! South??

Respectfully Submitted,

Cpl. Royal

e-mail Jim
created: Nov 6, 2003