Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
19 -Missing
Part 20

Topicus Meets the Wolfman

Part XII

Topicus and Caticus had departed the land of the weird and had struck out across barren and hot land. Grass was nonexistent and they were on water rationing. Topicus walked in quick time and Caticus followed along in her footprints, and dust, talking. Caticus exclaimed, “Slowdown girlfriend!” This was something she had picked up in the valley of the sunshine and the land of the weird, to call every female in sight “girlfriend”. Top drew up with heels dug into the ground, spun around and with fierce eyes boring into the young warrriorette and shouted “What the @%$&&^^%()*^*and &%#%^&*and $&**don’t ever*&^*%&$^%#*&^ call me ‘girlfriend’ again!” The crestfallen boot became silent (silence for Caticus required ever once of self control that she could muster).

In the meantime the three ragged wretches of the mountaintop set out to intercept Topicus. The Tracker, Slinger and John The Pennsylvanian. Now you might ask why JP had thrown in with this bunch. Remember why he was way over on that coast to begin with. He had been to an Iron Chariot reunion in the land of rain and fog. He had to trek back to his wilderness and struck a friendship with Slinger (Strevroloneous) and The Tracker (Stevicus). And since they were headed in the same direction, to intercept Topicus, he went along for protection. Slinger was explaining to JP the necessity for having to accompany The Tracker (since The Tracker was receiving rumination for the dangerous work in tracking Topicus) , “I find that I must accompany The Tracker, supposedly a renowned world traveler, because he fisheth most of his time away. Why , he cannot cross a steam every mile with out stopping to fish. I dare say that the tales of ‘world travel’ and tracking are just one big ruse for going fishing!” John the Pennsylvanian was anxious to get back to his wilderness. He had left his hovel and a winter supply of dried locust and Pabst Blue Ribbon in the care of his good friend, and brightener of dull young minds, J Marco. J Marco was steady and trustworthy. But just how long can a man look upon the treasure trove of Pabst and dried locust without falling? You might as well ask how long can a man look in the window of Victory’s Secret before the other 10% of his mind is focused on the V! Well, JP knew it was only a matter of time before J Marco’s resolve failed and then the whole winter’s provisions would be gone. Haste was of great importance but he needed cover for his flanks. So he helped chase the board.

Topicus still had to maintain a training regimen, even while on the move. Since leaping high and long distances were a requirement, she devised training for this while still moving toward her goal. She assigned Caticus to the point and had her leap over the tall prickly leafless bush. Starting with the short ones they cleared them easily. Caticus begin going higher and higher. (You might well be reminded here that Caticus had live in another strange land, often referred to by travelers as the Land Down Under. She had no playmates as a child and raced and jumped about with big animals that were not unlike a giant mouse. She learned to LEAP. In distances not even Topicus had imagined.) So, Caticus not only picked higher and higher obstacles but even began bounding over them in a leapfrog style! Topicus was hard pressed to reach those heights when Caticus cleared one with nothing to spare. Topicus followed with a mighty “YeeHaw!!” and soared toward the bright blues sky, moved her lower limbs into the required leapfrog position......and cleared the top ..... except for about one quarter of an inch. She was in mid-yeehaw during that last quarter inch and the bone chilling yell can’t be described but sounded something like this, “YEE...@#%^^^$@!@^**^% H. $%^&#@ Christ!!!!” “I have rent my garment and parts of my legs are gone!!”!! Caticus, stifling a smile, assured Topicus that no part of her legs were gone and, just some severe scratches which after the removal of about a million little spiny things could be healed with herbs. And as far as the torn garment, which was the much prized and scarce mink, it would have to replaced. But it had been worth it because the damage would have been devastating had she worn ordinary cloth of the day. At least the activities required to produce Zena, some time in the future, would not have to be curtailed, or terminated.

Topicus and her faithful few came upon a camp that had several members of one family, in the middle of the desolate and burning sand. The elder is a well know old warrior from the cold north, up around the great waters. What was he doing wandering around in this sandpile? The elder is know in his land as The Wolfman and has a lair back in the forests. He was visiting his offspring who was now living among the tribes of this desolate region. Already there were signs of things to come centuries from then. Most of the water was diverted to make green spots in the desert where those of some means wielded crooked sticks and tried to knock a little white ball into a hole! An amusing activity, indeed!

Topicus did not come in blazing away in a confrontation. With the Louisville Slugger holstered and slung across her back (as a sign of peace) she approached the Wolfman and his huge cub. Both the elder and the cub placed their hands upon their scimitars and edged apart in apprehension, for they had heard of the mighty Topicus and knew of some skulls that had been cracked along the way. Besides she looked a little banged up...and pissed. She spake, “ Be not afraid! I come in peace! I know of thee, Old Warrior and thy hast not been known to keep women in bondage, or otherwise take advantage of them!” With that statement the huge Cub, Marcusicus, had to hide a smile. The elder, RobicusRadicus (Wolfman), put an elbow into the youngster’s side so that this “no women in bondage” ruse would not be found out!

So, after a day or two of healing Topicus took leave of the kind Wolves, had her troop fall in and continued her journey. Robicus was thinking about his own journey back and about how he could entice Topicus to his lair and join him in his fight to rid a newly formed village, called ShyTown, of a just as newly formed wild bunch. This bunch hailed from a sunny clime that reached far into a great blue sea in a world furhter to the east. They mostly made and sold firewater and killed folks.

Topicus set her compass for the Shining Mountains.

Royal P.I.T.A.

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created: Oct 22, 2003