Marine Corps
The Origin of Top
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
19 -Missing
Part 20

Topicus in the Treetop

Part X

She had found another resting place. In a valley that ran down to the shore, a valley full of warm sunshine and plump purple fruit that the inhabitants squeeshed the juice from. The men drank the fermented juice and danced about making merry, and then Mary. But for now she rested high up on a flat rock, sufficiently raised from the valley floor to keep beast and MAN away so that rest could be had for the long journey to come. Besides the rest she needed to get the skin bronzed in preparation for the trip that would take her back across the burning sand. She lay on her back, spread eagled as if she had been doing the side straddle hop and had become immobilized in the full stretched position. Eagles circled high above and Topicus gazed up at their graceful circles and thought, “ Symbols, me thinks that eagle perched atop something would make the mark of excellence that my outfit will someday be.” The eagles circled and talked about attacking but prudence overcame egos and they let her rest. However, the three leering figures high up on the mountain just over her left shoulder were also making plans (we will get to them later)!

Well, while she rested, Bear (yes another “bear” story buy it has relevance somewhere down the line, so please ‘bear’ with me) grazed on some fine grass (no, Bermuda!). Bear feasted on berries and drank water from the brook and no one was astride his back for a few minutes. Life was good. Out of the bush came another bear. Big but not so big as the Great Brown. Bear stood staring into the eyes of a grizzly. “Hey, Griz what it be like?” Bear said in cautious greeting. “Names Gus, and do they just call you GB (for Great Brown)? What is thy name.?” “My name be Bear”, Bear said. With a giggle Griz says, “What a foolish name! You let a little female human sat on your back, do her bidding and you let her give you a stupid name like Bear?! I see that you are supposed to be a man bear, and a huge one at that at that. Didst thou escape from a circus where you traipsed about in a pink a tutu and developed a taste for the whip, too? It is no wonder that you are headed in the direction of the wild tribes, to the south! Why, any self respecting bear that would let a little scantily clad wh...........AAARRGGG!!!” (He had been so taken with his own wit and mouth that he did not see Topicus arise and send the loop of her lariat to the furthest limb of a big tree). Griz was able to scream just as a bundle of flaming hair and streaking flesh came swinging down from the giant sequoia (probably a little too far south to find one of those but we need a tall tree for Topicus to gather the momentum for this trick) toward him. With perfect timing she wrapped both legs, thighs of steel as it were, around Griz’s neck and in a half second he was off the ground and high above the smaller tree tops. At the apex of the arc she released him. There was a short scream and a fat thud as Griz hit the deck. She reached the ground on the run with the Louisville Slugger cocked. Griz, was on his back with all four limbs skyward, he began to come to and looked up into piercing eyes that were not unlike hot coals. He had never faced such a creature. The Louisville Slugger was raised up over this wild being’s head and aimed toward a spot that one mighty swing would have made the big grizzly a soprano. “Show some mercy, she-devil woman. I have three little cubs and a very loving wife!” (Last line he whined to the tune of Stagger Lee)pleaded Griz. “Well, get your big ass back into the woods and if I see you hanging around my ride again we will see who traipses about!” And Bear was pleased that he was not now on the receiving end of her wrath.

Topicus traveled on South along the Big Waters leaving the high cliffs, traveling the sandy beaches. She was making for the low country that was noted for perpetual sunshine and peopled by tribes that did weird stuff. Sometimes to each other. And sometimes to outsiders if they were not fleet of foot. She was seeking another warrior of some renown called Caticus. Caticus who until recently dwelled in a far away land that laid claim to the worlds biggest rats. She now dwelled among these “funny” people with strange ways. Many of the men of that land (too many!) worn pink loincloths and offered limp wrists in greeting.

She told Caticus; “ Thy would do well to join me. I have a following. Those I select will form the 'core' of my warriors. They don’t have a name yet. But they will be a select few! So, Caticus picked up her spear, bedroll and a spare pair of socks and followed Topicus out of the land of ‘bondage’ (yeah that kind of bondage!)

Then Caticus spake (and spake, and spake): “Topicus I have heard of thee! Thy be a great warrior. I will make thee a top hand, because in this strange land I have got the di-vers-i-tee. Lawd o’mercy, everyone here in this land has the di-vers-i- tee. I learned the di-vers-i-tee. I can lead other people out of bondage ‘cause I got the di-vers-i-tee!! We all needs the di-vers-i-tee. Do you have the di-versi-tee? We are going to spread the di-vers-i-tee. Me and my spear are as one, without my spear I am no good, without me my spear is no good.................”

Topicus screams, “For God’s sake, girl, stifle!! JEEZ!!! Close it up and maintain radio silence!”. (Actually “radio silence” in those days was the same as “shut the f*ck up!) And she pointed the compass to the Shining Mountains!

(Next: the leering eyes on the mountain.)

Royal P.I.T.A.

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created: Sept 17, 2003